That Light
by Drive all night
Summary: The morning after you have to face the consequences... #Burzek all the way
1. That Light

He didn't dare move; he didn't want to disturb her. He did want her to go, nor did he want to see a look of regret on her face. The room wasn't quite dark anymore, it was light enough to see the dark hair splayed across the pillow next to his and he just tried to breathe and take it all in. His fingers twitched as he stopped himself from touching her, he just wanted to make sure she was real.

"I feel you are awake?" Kim's sudden question made him start a little.

"I am."

"And, you are surprised I am still here?"

"No. I am glad you are still here." He felt himself smiling despite himself. It was the happiest he'd been in a long time; he actually couldn't remember the last time he felt this happy and calm.

"We shouldn't be doing this Adam."

"Yes we should." He touched her hair, straightening it a little on the pillow. He had missed this; he missed the smell of her shampoo. That scent had hit him last night and it jolted him a little, that all the smells, the sighs, the gentle little touches meant so much, he missed everything about her and all the memories flooded back.

He had laughed last night when he told her that he had said something to Halstead about remembering that she kept all her passwords the same. He had no idea at the time why that popped into his head but he didn't hate it, he didn't hate that she was still buried inside him.

It was a smart move, although completely against everything they were told about online security but he could never remember his passwords and had to reset them every single time he had to access something. Even her laugh felt different last night.

It wasn't as if he hadn't heard it a hundred times since she broke his heart but last night it was different. They'd hooked up a long time ago, but that felt temporary, this didn't and he was damn sure he was going to make that clear to her now. He'd changed. Life for him was different now.

He wiggled down so that he was facing her and laced his fingers through hers and bought them to his lips to kiss. "I've made two good decisions in my life, becoming a cop and you." He tried to read her reaction but it was unreadable. He wanted to say that loving her was one of his two good decisions but he didn't want to scare her off too soon. He had to show her he loved her, not just tell her. He had told her he loved her before but perhaps he didn't show her enough? "I came so close to losing my badge, I was in jail for fuck's sake, me? Yes it was one night but I knew I would never survive in there. I can't do solitary and I'd end up like Al in GenPop. I won't make that mistake again and you, I'm not making a mistake again. So, I'm going to do whatever it takes, no matter how long it takes to prove to you that I am enough for you."

"Adam..."

"You are the only light I have in my life. You have always been that light, even though it was dimmed lately but it was always there."

"Can you stop talking?"

"Kim, I can't. If I stop, you'll go."

"No, no I won't. Adam, there is a lot to work out."

"I know."

"But I want to try. Slowly."

"I can do that, I'll do whatever Kim, please. Tell me what to do."

"Just breathe for starters and…" She moved closer and smiled. "Last night, that thing we did, can we do that now?"

"The in the car thing? Or the kitchen thing or the bedroom thing?" Adam slid his hands underneath the sheets, he knew the way around her body. It had felt like he was coming home.

"What was your favourite?"

"Each and every single time." Kim rolled her head back and let him start working his magic, his beard tickled her skin and as he moved down from her jaw and neck to her chest she gasped. It was rough against the sensitive skin of her chest and that was an exhilarating feeling. The gentleness of his kisses and hands battling against the coarseness of his beard. That was them though, gentle, passionate but the edges were rough.

She let her mind wander back, not too far but to last night. Kim could still feel his fingertips as they felt every vertebra in her back. "Roll over." Adam demanded softly.

"What are you doing?"

"Re-learning everything." He had touched and kissed his way down her back and up again.

It was a nice break, to slow down and re-learn each other. So far it had been wild. The car was stupid and she'd started it. Unable to keep her hands to herself Kim literally molested him in the car. She was scared if she stopped and they took a breath they'd both realise they shouldn't be here right now, but she wanted to be here. Her body and her heart did she just need to drown out her head and making Adam aroused did just that.

Climbing into his lap the moment she turned the car off. Adam had got a lift in with Atwater that morning so was catching an Uber home anyway so it was easy to get away in one car. It wasn't exactly easy to get her jeans off and Adam did try to slow her down but Kim didn't give him a chance.

"Last night…." Kim turned her head to the side so she could look him in the face. "…are you worried?"

"About what?"

"Adam, we weren't careful."

"Oh, I guess the question is, are you?"

"I don't know, I think it should be right."

Kim closed her eyes tightly and he'd seen that before. Adam moved closer, running his fingers down her cheek and lifting her chin slightly so he could kiss her softly and he waited until she opened her eyes. "Just talk to me Kim, that's all I ask. What do you want to do?"

"Not think about it." Her words said one thing and her eyes said another.

"are you sure? This won't just be your problem, if it's a problem okay? I'm here Kim."

"I know, I know you are here and if you get much closer I'll feel it too."

Adam grabbed her hips and pulled her towards him, rolling onto his back in the same motion and pulling Kim on top of him. That was all she needed and Kim shook off everything else and focused on the task at hand, and that task was Adam rocking her world again.

"Can I just ask?" They'd made it out of bed finally and Kim was making him a coffee. She was chewing her bottom lip and he knew what was coming. "You and Hailey?"

"Over a long time ago. Should never have happened." It was the last thing he wanted to talk about but knew they had to go there.

"Okay."

"Kim, it meant nothing. It was a bit of fun; it was a distraction."

"From what?"

"Everything, Al, Antonio." He grabbed her wrist when she slid the coffee in front of him and held onto it.

Kim jumped in and cut him off. "Antonio? I talked to him a few days ago."

"How is he? Is he good?"

Kim had been surprised that Antonio had actually answered her call. The amount of times she had tried to call him and he never picked up. "He's doing okay, he asked about you? Why'd you do it?"

Adam shook his head sadly. He'd felt closed off from everyone and had never really talked about it, not that anyone asked until Antonio did. He wasn't even sure it made sense to himself until he said it out loud. "He's family, he needed help, what else could I do? You would have done the same thing, anyone would have. When I jumped in I didn't think it would turn out the way it did, Antonio needed not to have this on his record, shit the guy is one of the best cops in Chicago he didn't deserve to go down like that."

"But neither did you?"

"I had nothing else and I had to live with myself and it was the only thing I could do that let me do that. Everything else was so fucked up." Adam watched as Kim took a mouthful of coffee when he paused. His face twitched into an involuntary smile because he knew it would be killing her not to fill the silence with more questions. "Like you, everything with you was fucked, I'd fucked it up."

"Me?"

"Yes, I told her I was still in love with you, it was just that you didn't want me. She was under no illusion it would be anything else or more." Dropping his head he stared at the coffee in his mug, it looked as black and soulless as he'd felt lately. It sounded brutal, and callous and Adam regretted saying it but he also regretted letting it get to that point. He should have walked away after the first night, he should have walked away after the drink and if he had to beg on his knees for forgiveness he would.

"Okay."

"Last year was hands down the worst year of my life, I hated myself pretty much the whole time. I am glad, in a way I wasn't with you, that I stayed away from you because hurting you would have broken me completely." That Adam Ruzek had barely survived and he wanted to be a better man now. He wanted to stop hurting people, he wanted to think before he acted and while that resolution wasn't off to the greatest start considering last night he didn't regret a single thing that had happened since he'd asked her to come home with him.

"It did hurt me."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"No Adam it hurt me that you felt like you had to stay away from me. I never wanted that." Kim asked him to look at her. "You were wrong though; I've always wanted you and it wasn't because I didn't love you."

"So many mistakes."

Kim cocked her head a little and smiled. She reached for his hand, repeating the small gesture of hope he gave her last night when he hooked one finger through hers. It felt like that could be their thing. "I hope this isn't another one?"

"It's not."


	2. Respect

Adam could hear the knocking on his door as he stepped out of the shower. He reached for his towel and dried off and gently as he could. He certainly wasn't moving at any great pace. Glancing at his reflection in the mirror he grimaced and contemplated not answering the door. In all honesty he wanted to crawl into bed and lick his wounds.

He'd popped a couple of Advil before he took a shower and they were just starting to take the edge off his pounding headache.

The knocking stopped and he hoped that whoever it was had given up but just as he stepped into his bedroom it started again. Pulling on some trackpants and zipping up a hoodie he hobbled towards the door and peered through the peephole and he took a deep breath before opening the door. "Well this is the nicest surprise I've had at my door in a long time." He tried to make a joke. "Even better than Waleed, the pizza guy."

"What the hell?"

"Are you coming in?"

Kim stepped inside and dropped her bag on the kitchen bench and headed for the fridge without saying a word. Adam closed the door and leant against it and waited as she ferreted around for ice.

"So?" Wetting the towel lightly before wrapping it around the ice she bought it over and pressed it against his bloodied and swollen eye. The sudden icy coldness and pressure made him flinch.

"The less you know the better."

"Sometimes I am reminded what a dick you can be." Kim muttered and cocked her head and looked exasperated. He'd always tried to protect her and that had to stop.

"Ouch." He took the ice pack from her, running his fingers over hers before she let it go. "So I look like shit?"

"Yes. Want to explain?"

"Let's just say, sometimes people think they automatically deserve respect rather than earn it. They think it's a right. It's not how I was raised…" he shrugged. "..but whatever. It's done now."

"What's done?"

"The issue that Patrol had with Intelligence, it's done." Adam walked away and eased himself onto the sofa. "That's all that matters right?"

"Not if this is what it takes?" Kim waved her hands in his general direction.

Adam sighed. "Anyway, you are here. That's nice, I kinda like it." He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't agree with what he had to do, what Voight had pushed him into but he did it, no questions asked and then took his badge and gun back when Voight held them out to him and walked away without another word.

If it got Intelligence off the hook at the end of the day that's all that mattered. He hadn't gone to jail to protect Intelligence to let some asshole TO who got his kicks out of riding rough shod over a rookie bring it down now.

"Let me take a look." She removed the icepack and tilted his head towards the light. "Do you think you need stitches, someone to look at it?" He had thought about it but that was just going to raise more questions and he had no intention of answering them. As it was he would need to come up with a story about why he was looking like something that had gone ten rounds in a boxing ring and couldn't wait to see the disapproving looks in the morning.

"You are looking at it, that's good enough for me." He smiled, a little painfully. Not only did he have a black eye, he also was sporting a split lip, bruised knuckles on both hands and sore ribs. He may have copped a few but took great satisfaction from sitting Werner on his ass too.

"Stop flirting with me."

"Can't help it." Kim sat next to him and grabbed a cushion to lay in her lap and she eased him down onto it. He tried to put on a brave face but she was onto him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything but will you marry me."

"Ha, I didn't cop that much of a beating, I don't have a brain injury." He noticed her eyes flicker a little but couldn't quite work out if she was amused or pissed, he was tipping pissed. "Do you know this Field Training Officer Werner?"

"Sure, everyone does." Kim nodded, she did know him and knew his reputation. She was glad she never had him from what she'd heard. He was well known amongst recruits and not particularly for all the good things he bought to the job.

"Ever had much to do with him?"

"No, not personally but I know a few who have."

"And? What's your opinion?" He'd never heard of him before today, but he was unlikely to every forget him now. He'd make sure he'd take a wide berth.

"Why?"

"Just wondering." He closed his eyes for a few moments. "They ride you hard right, TO's?"

"Yeah."

"Like bullying. Were you ever bullied?"

"Bullied? Like what?"

"I know their role is to toughen you up for the streets but calling someone stupid in the middle of the District, make it not about the job but ya know, making it personal. You know that stuff is shit?" Adam stared hard at her until she blinked and looked away. He had his answer.

"Is that what caused this?" When Kim looked at him again he hadn't stopped watching her. She touched his cheek lightly.

"Maybe. I just hope you didn't have to put up with that and that you wouldn't put up with that either."

Kim took a moment before she answered. "It's not always that easy Adam, sometimes it's easier to grin and bear it. Let it pass. Is it right? Probably not but you do what you have to do to survive."

"That's bullshit."

"Yes it is. Not all of us get the easier path."

He was sick of hearing it, that he had the easy path. It wasn't easy, it was different that's all. When he went back to the Academy to finish off so he could graduate while still working full time in Intelligence he got ridden into the ground. He got no free passes, he had to do twice as much and everything he did got scrutinised. Things that others got a pass for he had to do time and again until it was deemed perfect.

When you were constantly told you hadn't earned your spot, that you did it easy and that you skated through the Academy straight into Intelligence it wore you down eventually. His father's name hadn't exactly made him a small target either, from the day he walked through the door he'd done it tough.

He'd even copped that from Atwater today and that was disappointing because Atwater was happy to let that crap go on and watch the young kid wilt and then had the balls to tell him that he was in the wrong because he had breezed through. "Easy?"

"Okay, maybe not easier but Adam you know that's the way it's done."

"Doesn't make it right does it?"

"Nope."

"Anyway." He removed the ice pack; it had been on long enough and he tossed it aside. "All is right in the warped world of PD again."

"Is it?"

"Yep. And hey, things are starting to feel right in my world, or one corner of it anyway." He closed his eyes as Kim ran her hands through his hair. "What made you come? I thought you were tired?"

"I was…" Kim chuckled and bent down and kissed his forehead. "I don't know, I got a feeling you needed me."

"You are a very perceptive woman."

"Let's get you into bed?" Kim made him sit up.

"I like the sound of that."

Helping him up off the sofa she guided him towards his bedroom. "I'm not staying."

"I'm wounded and you are leaving me? I'm heart broken."


	3. Trick or Treat

_**Seeing as the show is completely ignoring #Burzek at the moment...I had to make something up. :)**_

She almost stepped on it, opening her front door Kim was surprised to see the box of donuts on her doorstep. Bending down to pick it up she chuckled when she opened the lid. Scrawled on the inside of the lid was a message and she knew that cramped messy handwriting anywhere.

_'__Trick or Treat?'_

The Halloween themed donuts were cute; it was everything she hated. Spiders, moths, birds and snakes and sitting in the middle was one pleasant surprise, a chocolate donut with a small champagne bottle poking out the top.

Instantly she grabbed it and wasn't surprised to see a note underneath. _'So you chose treat?' _It gave her a warm sensation, he told her he wasn't giving up and she was loving the attention but it was hard to rein in her excitement. It was a long way back, or so she thought but he wasn't just doing the things he had the first time around that made her fall in love with him, he was doing all the things he promised he'd do to prove to her that he was serious.

Where they were right now was strange. Kim trusted him with her life, she always had and even when they were on completely different paths she had always trusted him but they were yet to trust each other with their hearts. There were still things that Adam held back from her, she got the feeling that there were things about him and what he'd been through in the past few years, since well before Al died that he refused to share with her and until he did it would make Kim hold herself just out of reach.

Despite all that they were enjoying themselves and it had been a long time since she'd felt this good, it was a long time since someone had put in the effort.

It was a game they were playing, a very enjoyable game amidst all the doom and gloom of their job and she was just as good at it as he was.

Kim bought herself a glass of champagne at the bar and then elbowed her way through the crowd. Halloween certainly bought people out in more ways than one and Molly's seemed to be filled with those who didn't want to be home so they didn't have to fight off the trick or treaters. The streets were crawling with any and every character you could imagine and Molly's was a bit of a sanctuary from the crazy.

"Yo Burgess, what the hell is that?" Kevin mocked her as he lifted his beer in protest.

"I'm trying to bring a bit of class to you idiots."

"We've got class." Kevin muttered. "We are all class."

It had been a long couple of days and the case hadn't ended well and everyone was a little stunned with the outcome. It seemed the norm these days but some days were harder to reconcile than others. The 'debrief' was welcome, it didn't happen a lot anymore, not like it used too. Debriefs were a regular thing, at the very least at the end of case they all got together and put it to bed. The good, the bad and the ugly were washed away with a few beers and some laughs.

They were a pretty fractured group lately and in their line of work that wasn't a good thing; it was downright dangerous. If they'd paid more attention perhaps Antonio would still be sitting here with them. Every single one of them carried a little bit the guilt and burden of that disaster. None more so than Kim and Adam. Kim was his partner and she felt she never did enough, she had focussed on herself because the last year it felt like she was always having to prove herself to everyone, that she belonged upstairs. It turned her focus inwards and Antonio had been lost in the wash and she'd never forgive herself for that.

Adam told her that Antonio's decisions were his own and pulling someone out of their downward spiral wasn't as easy as holding their hand and telling them everything was going to be alright. Voight had tried to help him, even towards the end he'd been willing to be a suspect for murder to protect Antonio. Had they got it right? Not even close but they tried and he'd fucked it up and made things worse but not because he didn't care, he cared too much about his team, they were all he had and that had almost bought him undone.

The one thing Antonio told him he was worried about was keeping his partner out of it. He didn't want Kim involved; he didn't want to see her disappointment. Out of everyone he didn't want to let her down.

Rojas coming on board had been the catalyst for repairing the cracks, she had told Kim when they were out chasing up some CI's that she had always heard that Intelligence were a pretty tight group but on the inside it seemed like no one really liked each other. Kim had argued that it was a tough job. "Shouldn't that make you all the more reliant on each other?"

It had been a bit of a wake-up call for Kim and they vowed to change it.

Initially it was Kim, Vanessa and Atwater and she loved hearing stories of their early patrol days. Adam had crawled out of his hole and started joining them, Kevin had nagged him and literally kidnapped him one night and bought him along. He had to admit, it felt good to be back in the world.

"It just don't seem like a champagne kinda night?"

"I am treating myself." Kim deadpanned as she lifted the glass to her lips to hide her smile. She didn't look at Adam but knew he'd heard it. "Some days you just need a treat."

They hadn't had one moment all day to even talk about it. They had hit the ground running the moment they got into work and had decided that they wouldn't use their work phones to communicate anything that wasn't work related. It had been a struggle, in the past the ability to flirt through messages had been a big part of their thing, sometimes when cases got in the way it was their only thing. Figuring out new ways was fun, if not a little frustrating at times.

"That you do, Burgess."

They were all surprised when Halstead arrived and made his way to the table. "Drinks on me." He tapped the table. "As a thank you." Nobody was expecting to see him tonight. When Adam had finally left the bullpen, he himself was staying behind to make sure his paperwork was up to date Halstead was still working through his report of the case.

Since he'd got his badge back he was determined that he'd cross every T and dot every I before he went home. He'd been pissed with himself for letting the patrol thing get out of control and it took Kim a lot of time and effort to get him to move on. He was grateful that she made the effort to talk him down. Knowing that you had to pull your head in and actually doing it were two different matters entirely, he was a work in progress and it was a long, potholed road.

"Burgess is trying to class us up." Kevin wasn't letting it go, he was having too much fun teasing her.

Adam jumped up from his stool and offered to help with the round. "You okay man?" He leant on the bar while they waited to be served.

"Not really. That was fucked man, from the moment I saw those kids I stopped fucking thinking. We need to make sure that shit never happens again."

"If only it was that easy hey?"

"Yep. Control the controllable and I am one of the controllables and I didn't." He ordered the drinks. "You guys though, never questioned me."

"I wouldn't say never, you've got to question everything and it can be good Jay, doesn't mean we don't have your back, every single day. I've lost Al and Antonio, that's two too many." Adam rocked back on his heels a little. "Never stop asking the questions, the moment you do you lose."

"You had some wisdom knocked into you?" Halstead had heard the scuttlebutt about the patrol issue but it was never mentioned. He'd asked Ruzek and had been told in no uncertain terms that he didn't want to talk about his black eye and split lip and nobody else even raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah something like that." He reached for the three beers and left Halstead to carry the Champagne for Burgess and a whiskey for himself. "Let's go, Atwater is loving being the centre of attention too much."

"When does he not love it?" Halstead muttered and Adam had to agree. His buddy had always commanded attention and even he'd noticed that Rojas was enjoying Kev's smooth ways and for him to notice it meant that it had to be obvious. Kim usually had to point these things out to him, he was stupid like that.

It wasn't a late night; it didn't need to be. A few drinks to blow out the remnants of the day and then they drifted away. Will Halstead arrived and they weren't sure if he was depressed or angry, perhaps a little of both and he was bringing Jay down with him so Burgess pulled the pin first.

She was heading home for a long hot bath and a night of trashy TV. It was her release valve. She wasn't ashamed to admit to being a Bachelor junkie, although the station sweep she tried to organise had been the butt of a lot of jokes and ribbing. Surprisingly she had an ally in the most unlikely of places; Platt continued to surprise and scare him.

Rojas was cooking dinner for her and Upton who had gone to catch up with her brother after work. He was moving house and needed help picking some furniture out and Atwater promised to call his sister. She had a school ball coming up and wanted Kev to see the dress she was going to wear.

Adam stayed for another drink, putting enough time and distance between everyone else leaving before he pulled the pin. "I don't need to sit and listen to your miserable ass. I've got my own misery to keep me company." He swallowed the last of his beer and patted Halstead on the back. "Stay tidy boys."

Kim ran herself a bath and tried to relax. The warm water lulled her and soothed her ragged nerves. Today had been tough, she didn't like how it went down but they had a job to do and at times getting to the end didn't feel like a win. Today was not a win.

Wrapping her thick robe around herself she brushed her hair and left it lose before flicking off the lights. The gentle flicker of the candles took a little getting used to and she squinted as her eyes adjusted to the low light. Glancing at the clock she felt her stomach tighten and all too familiar nerves kicked in.

Deciding that trashy TV would be a good time waster she scrolled through the channels until the knock on the door stopped her. "Trick or Treat?" she peered through the spy hole just to make sure.

Swinging open the door she leant on the frame. "I've changed my mind; I want a trick."

"I've got tricks." He grabbed the belt of her robe. "You'll need to let me in though."

Kim stepped back and Adam closed the door and undid her robe in one movement. "I'd like a treat." He pushed the robe off her shoulders and felt the rush of blood. She was completely naked and he already felt like a winner.

"Happy Halloween." Kim turned away, leading him by the hand down the short hallway to her bedroom. "Show me your tricks and I'll give you a treat."


	4. Funky

_**A bit of a tough one to write considering yet another week passes without even a hello...and then the preview. Let's see what happens. **_

"Do they have new beer here?" Kim looked at her glass.

"Don't think so." Rojas took another sip of hers. Kevin had bought them both a drink and he was off at the bar talking to Ruzek who had struck up some boring as batshit conversation about cars with Cruz and Burgess and Rojas got sick of waiting for them. They found an empty table and Atwater obliged them with two beers.

She left it for a few moments until Kevin and Ruzek joined them. "Does your beer taste funky?" She asked them and rolled her eyes when they both took a big swig, downing at least half the glass and shook their heads.

"Nope, it's going down a treat. Then again, anything would after today." Kevin smacked his lips. He was really enjoying the drinks.

Kim took another mouthful and screwed up her nose. "I can't drink this. Maybe it's a dirty glass or something."

Adam reached for her glass and took a mouthful, "Tastes fine to me." He slide it back in front of her.

"Well I'm not drinking it now it's got your grotty beard germs on it." She shoved it back towards him so hard it spilt, tipping the amber liquid in his lap. The glass clatter to the floor and luckily didn't smash but it made both Kim and Rojas jump.

Adam leapt up suddenly trying to avoid the spill and flick off the liquid before it looked like he had pissed himself. "Geez Burgess, don't waste good beer."

"It's shit beer." She snapped and felt everyone's eyes on her all of a sudden. It took a lot to get Kim to snap and it wasn't like her to lose it over something so trivial.

"You okay Burgess?" Kev furrowed his brow.

"Yep." She ran her hand over her face wearily. "I'm just tired. I think I'll just go home." Reaching for her bag she caught Adam's eye briefly and there was a flicker of concern but it was gone in a second when he copped her full on glare. "It's been a long shitty week. Have a good weekend and I hope I don't see your sorry faces until Monday." Unless something big went down they all had the weekend off and it had come at the perfect time, everyone needed a break.

It sounded like heaven and she had it all planned, a weekend of romcom's, ready trashy novels and plenty of time on her sofa and right now all she wanted to do was sleep. She felt weak as she stood up, like she hadn't slept in a days and all she wanted to do was get home, shower and crawl into bed.

"Well that was strange." Kevin lifted his glass up while Kidd wiped up the split beer. "Burgess looked like death warmed up. What's up with her?"

"I learnt not to ask a woman why a long time ago. It's bad for your health." Adam muttered. Kevin wasn't wrong, she looked tired, beyond tired, she looked worn down. Sure it had been a long week but not usually busy and it did catch him off guard a little. He felt a bit of a pit form in his stomach, he used to be able to tell if something wasn't right with her, she wasn't good at hiding things but he was a bit out of touch and hadn't really noticed anything during the week. Tonight though something was up.

"See I think that's where you go wrong…" Kevin leant across the table and tapped his temple. "…you need to know what's going on just don't be a dick about it. I know that's difficult for you."

Adam rolled his eyes. "I love you too Bro." he scoffed. "My failed relationships are not due to my dickish behaviour. Well maybe one…the other…just a bad idea that got out of control." It was the first time he'd really even mentioned that disaster riddled few months. Every time Kevin had tried Adam had blown him off. "Anyway, it's your buy." He held up his empty glass. "By the time I get back from the head I want to see a pretty little beer in front of me."

Pulling his phone out of his pocket as soon as he hit the bathroom he knew it was breaking their golden rule but he didn't care, he sent her a message. "You okay?"

_'Yes I am fine, I am tired.'_

"Do you need anything?"

_'Sleep.'_

Kim crawled into bed, barely keeping her eyes open long enough to turn off the light. She had never felt so bone crushingly tired and she was surprised when she woke twelve hours later. The sunlight was streaming through the crack in the curtains and she blinked a few times to get her eyes adjusted to the light.

Rolling onto her back she reached one arm out beside her and was disappointed that it was cold and empty. Her stomach growled suddenly letting her know that it needed food.

Throwing on a hoodie and some sweat pants Kim was surprised to see Adam curled up on her sofa. He had kicked his boots off and pulled the rug that she always had on the back of the sofa over himself. "Hey." She shook his leg. "Hey, wake up."

Kim had given him a key just a week ago. She needed him to pick up a chair she had bought, he could at least lift it and she had already asked Kevin but he was busy. Begrudgingly she accepted Adam's offer and just before they left for the store she had gotten a call from a woman who she had helped out with domestic abuse back when she was on patrol. They had seen this woman so many times they'd lost count and Kim had given her a business card and told her to call anytime she needed help. Adam offered to grabbed it anyway and when he went to give her the key back she irrationally told him to keep it. It shocked both of them and she tried to brush it off with a comment that it was always helpful if someone else had a key to our place in case you ever locked yourself out or lost your set of keys. Adam had slipped it onto his keyring without another word.

She didn't expect him to use it.

"Kim?" He muttered sleepily.

"Who else? What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on you. You seemed off. I was worried."

Kim folded her arms across her chest. "Well that's sweet I guess."

"Sorry. When I got here you were sound asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake you. I didn't want to disturb you." He sat up and ran his hands through his wild hair. "Anyway, you sleep okay?"

"I did. Twelve hours straight. It felt good." She headed towards the kitchen. "You want coffee?"

"Sure." By the time he got back from the bathroom the coffee was made and Kim had started cooking breakfast. He did love her French Toast.

The smell of it was mouth-watering and she could have eaten the crutch out of a low flying duck right now. She was starving. The last time she ate was around lunch yesterday and it was now almost lunchtime again. "I'm guessing that doesn't taste funky?" Adam laughed as she finished off her third piece.

"Nope, I guess I was hungry last night." She shrugged. "So what are your plans for the day?"

"Depends….what are you doing?"


	5. Bombshell

"I'll drive you home."

"I can drive Adam."

"I know, I'm trying." He reached out and touched her knee. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Nothing. I just need some time to get my head around it. I need to be alone. I mean it's been a really long day. Hard, it's been…." She touched his hand lightly. "…really hard."

"Yeah." He felt a little relieved, the touch was a small comfort. They'd been laughing and joking earlier in the day, like the good groove they had going on and that had all been blown out of the water. He hadn't even got his head around it. He was wracking his brain trying not to say the wrong thing, he was over analysing everything. "So let me drive you home."

"I'm not ready to talk."

"So we don't talk. Please Kim?" He bent his head slightly to catch her eye and Kim nodded. "Okay?"

Reaching for her bag Kim pulled it from his hands. "I can carry my own bag Adam, don't do this."

"Sorry."

He waited a few steps before he followed her. "I'm sorry Adam, I'm all over the shop right now."

"I hear ya."

The silence in the car was deafening so Adam tried to talk about the case but it just wasn't working. The elephant was sitting in the back seat and it was sucking all the oxygen out of the car.

Putting his car into park he stared straight ahead. "Do you want me to come in?"

Kim rolled her head to the side to look at him. "Adam…."

He smiled a little wryly. "Just thought I'd ask. Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine. I'm going to have a shower, curl up in a ball and probably cry."

"Don't tell me that. I don't want you to cry." He hooked his finger through hers as it rested on her thigh. "Call me if you need anything, even a stupid question, a freak out, if you want to yell at me, just please call me."

Kim just sat for a moment, she wanted to leave but she didn't want to lose touch with Adam. She knew as soon as she stepped foot in her apartment she'd lose it, all her walls would come crumbling down and that scared her. No, scratch that, it terrified her but she just couldn't let Adam in. He'd claw at her, trying to understand what she was going through and what she was thinking and she hadn't even figured that out herself yet.

She squeezed his hand. "I'll see you tomorrow." Adam hung onto it as she tried to get out of the car; he was scared to let her go. "Adam."

Exhaling slowly Adam couldn't even look her in the eye. "I don't want to let you go."

"Why not?"

"That appointment, you cancelled right?"

"Yes… yes Adam."

"Okay." He nodded. "Okay."

Watching her walk up the stairs he closed his eyes and tried to breathe. "Shit." He muttered. He sat there for half an hour, waiting for god knows what, perhaps she'd come out and ask him up. Not that he had any idea what he wanted to say or what she wanted him to say.

He thought that saying that he'd support her whatever she decided was the right thing to do, and it wasn't a lie but he wasn't sure if that's how he felt. Of course he'd support her, he loved her, he always would and if she didn't want the baby then he'd have to accept it, but there was part of him that was already imagining the future.

Kim watched his car sitting there for a good while and she did think about telling him to come in but she had no idea what to say to him. She had no idea what to think or feel. How could she possibly explain any of this to someone else, she didn't understand it herself. He wasn't just anyone though, it was his baby too and she'd had to remind herself of that a couple of times already today.

Adam wasn't the one that had to give up his career though. He could still work Intelligence while she'd be benched. Her life would change, his could go on. That didn't seem fair.

Burgess moved through her apartment in a daze, she had no idea what to do. It felt suffocating and even the shower didn't help and showers always helped her. A wave a memories crashed over her; that night, she'd enjoyed the shower that night but she wasn't alone then. Lying down on her bed she laid her hands on her stomach. She couldn't believe there was something in there that had changed her whole life. Even if she didn't have this baby she was never going to be the same again.

Adam had no idea how it was going to go down and he'd tossed and turned all night. He'd stood in the pharmacy forever and three ladies asked him if he needed help. Eventually he garnered to courage to ask for assistance and when she congratulated him it was the first time he felt that genuine happiness he always thought he'd feel when he found out he was going to be a father. It wasn't supposed to be like this but he knew he'd always wanted this with Kim. They had talked about it; it was in their plans but that was a long time ago.

He enjoyed the feeling for a moment. He held onto it because he didn't know how long he'd have it or if he'd ever get it again. He'd never get a first time again though.

"Hi, how are you?" he rushed out when she opened the door. She looked tired and he realised, like him neither of them had slept and Kim usually slept through anything. When things got on top of her, when she was hurting or heartbroken she'd sleep the pain away.

No this time though, Kim had lay awake staring at the ceiling until the sun came up.

"Tired. Still pregnant." Stepping aside she let him in. "You didn't need to check up on me. I haven't snuck off anywhere."

"I know, just wanted to see if you are okay?" It had been a long time since things had been this awkward between them. It had probably never been this bad, even when he found out about Roman and she caught him with Upton, they seemed to handle that better than this. Although to be fair those things paled into insignificance compared to this head spinning life altering news. "You sleep okay?"

"Are you going to ask me that every day?"

"Probably." Adam shrugged and leant against the bench, he tapped his hand nervously a few times and then dived right in. "Anyway, I stopped at a pharmacy on the way and I don't want you to think I am pressuring you in anyway but I bought you some pre-natal vitamins. I know it's a bit late, the lady in the store told me you should take these before you start trying and since we didn't really try I just thought that maybe until you decide we should take these just in case, you know. It's good for you and the baby." His nervous ranting made Kim smile a little. "Is that okay? I just thought, whatever we decide we should be the right thing. I don't know, it's stupid, I'm sorry." He gave up.

Kim didn't say a word so he opened the bottle of vitamins and handed her one with a glass of water and was relieved when she took it. He didn't know what else to do, he didn't know what to say.

"It's all I've thought about." Kim's voice quivered a little. "This baby is all I've thought about."

"Me too." He added quietly. "And you, I've thought about you."

"Adam…" Kim suddenly burst into tears. "Can I have a hug?"


	6. A Box of Cheer

It was the second time in as many weeks that she'd almost stepped on a delivery outside her door. This one she almost kicked across the hall. She was on her way out to a Yoga class and was running late. Until ten minutes ago she wasn't sure she was going to make it, waking up late and feeling like death warmed up hadn't made the 8am Yoga class seem like a good idea.

It was a Saturday, a rare day off and she was determined that this little thing wasn't going to change her life. It was just that this little thing had changed everything including making her feel like she'd died overnight.

Grabbing the box she tossed it inside and shut the door. It could wait.

Yoga was a slap in the face. Not only did it make her feel worse, who knew hanging your head upside down made you vomit…but she did now. There were also poses that she couldn't do apparently. Not that she told the Yoga instructor that she was pregnant but she made a beeline for the obviously pregnant women in the class and set her mat down beside her.

When the instructor came over to talk her through some alternate moves Kim just listened however the first time she copied the women beside her instead of the rest of the class the gig was up. The lady beside her just smiled and nodded and the instructor sought her out when the class finished.

"It's early and I'm kinda in denial so I don't want to make a fuss." Kim resented the intrusion. It was just another thing on top of everything else that had suddenly changed for her and she had to swallow not only the bile from her stomach but that tinge of bitterness that she was desperately trying to ignore.

She knew she wasn't being fair to Adam but she just wasn't ready for him and his opinions. She wasn't ready to forgive him despite knowing it wasn't all his fault and she had no idea what she wanted from him right now.

Judging by his ambush in the locker room two days ago neither did he.

They'd then spent half the night waiting at the hospital to see how Jay was and he'd tried hard to rein himself in. He'd go and get himself something to eat and grab stuff for everyone else so it didn't look like he was just forcing her to eat, even though she knew exactly what he was doing. He'd bought just about every food option available to him in the cafeteria. Even Atwater told him to chill and that he was as annoying as all fuck.

It wasn't just about this that he was struggling with. He admitted that the last time they sat in a waiting room like this was when Al had died. It all came rushing back to him and Kim did talk to him a little but made it quite obvious what was on the table and off it and the pregnancy was off the table. As much as it felt like a cop out, they both used Al as a front for what really was going on inside both of them. Turmoil was probably the best way to describe it.

Kim had forgotten all about the box until she got home and it was waiting on the floor where she had thrown it.

It was sweet. Adam had sent her everything known to man to help her with her morning sickness. Ginger Ale, dry crackers, peppermint tea, sea-sickness wrist bands, ginger candies, travel sickness lollipops, a lavender eye mask, some essential oils, natural morning sickness remedies and four different types of flavoured water.

He added a small note, obviously dropping the box off himself as it had no delivery details and Kim felt a little disappointed that he hadn't knocked and let her know he was there. She felt a brief flush of guilt that she was obviously scaring him but it was brief as a wave of nausea hit her.

_'I hope there is something in here that helps. Let me know if you find a magic cure amongst this lot and I'll buy up the entire stock in Chicago.' _He signed it with a cross and his name.

He was trying but she just wish she knew what she wanted from him and that was frustrating her. If he'd said _'what do you want from me'_ she honestly had no idea what she'd tell him. Adam was waiting for it; she could tell and she had wanted to call him so many times but hadn't been able to garner the courage yet because once she opened the door to him it was going to be all or nothing. So instead she shut him out.

It took all her effort to actually call him, she was just going to send him a message and thank him for the box of goodies but that would have been a cop out. She had to try and get past this stage of paralysing fear.

"Hey Adam, thanks for the box of cheer." Kim tried to sound light and breezey but it came out weird, not that Adam said anything.

He just sounded surprised to hear from her, he was expecting a quick _'thank you' _and that was it. "No worries, I wasn't sure what you'd tried but I read that all this stuff may help." He spoke so quickly and Kim knew he was nervous. He was trying to get everything out all at once in case she hung up on him. "How are you?"

"A little seedy today. I did Yoga this morning."

"Really." He paused, almost blurting out that he wondered if that was okay with the baby. "I know you love that shit." He offered instead and it sounded lame. They were awkward again and he hated this. Just two weeks ago they were travelling so well, they were having a lot of laughs, a lot of sweet moments and some passionate ones and now they were struggling to have a conversation.

"I do, it was strange though, there are things I can't do now and that felt weird."

"What do you mean can't do? Things aren't that different yet are they?" He had no idea what she meant. She certainly didn't look any different if you discounted the fact she looked tired and pissed most of the time.

"Well no, but there are poses that aren't permitted when you know …you are pregnant."

"Oh."

"Anyway…" Kim didn't want to talk about it anymore. This was veering into a discussion about the future of her pregnancy that she wasn't ready for.

Adam felt a sense of relief though, if she was worried about doing things that may hurt the baby then surely that was a good thing, she was at least thinking about it. She had a foot in both camps it seemed.

"What are your plans for the weekend? You know we could catch up for lunch or dinner or something." Adam was hopeful, he just needed her to throw him a bone.

"I'm tired." She snapped, a little too harshly and then regretted it. "Sorry, maybe lunch tomorrow, but Adam, I'm not ready."

"I know Kim, I know. It's just lunch."

"Okay and thanks again for the box. I'm praying something works."

"Me too."

_**Sorry it's so short and took a while to get out. They really didn't give me much to go on this week. Hopefully in the New Year we will get some more interesting interactions.**_


	7. Giving Thanks

_**Just because...**_

Adam was surprised she had agreed to go. Kevin had invited them to Thanksgiving Dinner and they both had their doubts he could pull it off. It was the first time that Kevin was actually cooking. He had invited Vanessa as well as a couple of his buddies from his patrol days.

Kevin had decided they needed to blow off a little apparently. It had been a rough week. Halstead was still in hospital but doing well. Voight had gone to visit his grandson and Upton was with her brothers so it was just the four of them and Halstead had ragged him trying to couple up so he invited a few others.

Adam was expecting Burgess to cancel and right up until she knocked on his door to pick him up he was waiting for a message to say she wasn't going to make it. While it had been a rough week for Halstead it hadn't been much better for Kim. It had kicked her ass.

"Adam hurry." He opened the door and Kim pushed straight past him and bolted for the bathroom.

Adam closed the door quietly and followed her. "Not good? Can I get you anything?"

"Go away." She snarled. "It's you…"

"Harsh Burgess, very harsh."

"What are you wearing?"

"Um clothes…"

"No, you smell. That smell is rank. I can smell it in here."

"It's my usual hair stuff." He tried to hide his smile. It wasn't the least bit funny for Burgess and it was more a nervous smile than anything. Kim splashed some water on her face as Adam handed her a towel.

"You need to shower. I can't stand it. I am not spending the day with you smelling like that."

"Oh okay, now?" He stripped off his shirt and winked. "Don't get too excited."

"Nothing about you excites me right now." She threw a towel at him. "Hurry up, we will be late."

"Wanna watch?" He knew that they weren't talking about the pregnancy today, or any day for that matter. Kim had made that perfectly clear when she offered to pick him up so he could have a few drinks. So he was just going to try and make her smile. She may not have been thankful for him right now but he didn't feel the same way. His life was infinitely better when she was spinning in his orbit. He felt a lot calmer and more grounded when they were circling around each other.

"No." her reply was swift, almost cutting him in half. He knew this was tough he just really wished she wasn't giving the vibe that she hated him 90% of the time. The other 10%, like when they had lunch she actually seemed to appreciate him and his sense of humour. He'd set out on a mission to make her laugh that day and it had been fun, short lived, but fun nonetheless and those were the moments he was hanging onto.

Kim was standing in his kitchen cleaning; it was a sudden habit. It wasn't because his kitchen was dirty, it was actually pretty clean but if she was cleaning she was moving and if she was moving she didn't have the chance to feel sick. Putting the cloths back under the sink when he came out Kim was surprised when he blocked her path. "So, is this better?" He stepped closer, invading her personal space. "Get a good whiff?"

"You are an idiot."

"I just want to make sure I got it all. Even washed the carpet just in case."

Kim snorted "Well that was a waste of effort."

He sighed. "Oh I know but a man can dream can't he? It is thanksgiving after all I thought you might want to thank me later."

"For what?"

"You know…" he waved his arms up and down. "…just being awesome."

Kim rested her hand on his chest to steady herself and breathed deeply as a wave of nausea threatened to overwhelm her but it passed quickly. "You've done enough damage thank you."

"Right." He held her hand in place, running his thumb over the wrist bands she was wearing. "So these help?" They were some of the pressure bands that worked for motion sickness.

"A little, I'm too scared to take them off now. Can you notice them?"

"A little." He thought about saying no but then if someone spotted them she'd be angry with him for not telling her.

"I'll take them off before we get to Kev's."

"Are you sure? Like it's not really noticeable but I just don't want someone to ask you about them, if that's what you want." For a brief moment Adam enjoyed touching Kim as she let him rub her wrists. "So how we going to do this? What's the plan?"

"There is no plan, we are not saying anything, I haven't decided anything." He'd seen this icy glare a few times already and she tried to pull her hand away but Adam held it steady.

"I know, I meant how are we going to hide the fact that you aren't drinking?" He stopped. "You aren't drinking are you? I mean I know you are driving but not even one right? Is that the rules?"

"Just stop it, I've already told Kev that I can't drink…."

"Really?" His voice went up a few octaves.

"Yes, calm down. When he invited me I told him no I wasn't coming because I couldn't drink as I have an infection in my wound on my arm and on heavy duty anti-biotics that don't mix with alcohol."

"Smart thinking 99."

"So I was thinking you could pour me a drink and I could tell you I can't drink it in front of Kev so he gets it and everyone else. I need him to think you don't know, I need this to work."

"Got it. I will hassle the shit outta you. Mock you, tease you and be a general pain in the ass."

"Well that's not a stretch now is it?"

Adam clutched his chest dramatically. "You wound me." He winked. "So, let's not be late, then he'll really know something is up. Your anal retentive ass can't stand being late."

"If you didn't smell like a toilet it wouldn't be a problem."

Adam grabbed his coat and helped Kim into hers. "It really was that bad?" It had stunned him a little but he just did as he was told, anything to make this easier and Kim happy.

"Yep."

"Huh." He cocked his head. "Who knew."

"You talk to Halstead today?" Kim slipped into the driver's seat of her car and decided that small talk was the way to go.

"I dropped in earlier. He's obviously getting better. He was bitching about the food and his sore ass."

"And yet he'd still be a better patient than you."

"Without a doubt, I just don't get myself shot all that often."

"It does happen a lot with him doesn't it? Shot, kidnapped, beaten."

"He's must have some internal siren that goes off whenever he's wandering around by himself that alerts the scum buckets of his location."

"Whoop Whoop" she imitated an alarm. "Happy Halstead is on the move." Kim laughed. It was nice to hear it and he made a promise to himself that he was going to do everything he could to make sure she laughed all afternoon.

Kev was in full flight by the time they arrived. He was keeping Vanessa entertained and seemed almost three sheets to the wind already although he swore he'd only had one drink, it was Thanksgiving, he had a lot to be thankful for. Both of them were seriously doubting the validity of this, it was yet to be seen what came out of the oven.

"Burgess." Kev opened his arms. "Come here girl." He hugged her tightly; lifting her off the floor easily and only Adam could see her turn green but she managed to hold it together.

"Kev, you can put me down anytime you like."

"I'm just happy to see you."

"It's good to be here Kev. Sorry we are late, you know Ruzek." She scoffed. "Wasn't even half way ready when I got there."

"Nothing's changed. Still as useless as tits on a bull." Kev mocked him. "Is that why he's got that fluffly pansy hair instead of his usual Hollywood lumbersexual look?"

"You are just jealous that I look good either way." Adam put his beers in the fridge and cracked the top off two, one for him and one for Kev. "Burgess, beer or wine?"

"Neither thanks."

"Sorry? What?" he mocked her. "Who are you and what have you done with our Burgess?"

"Nothing for me. I'm taking some medication and can't drink."

Adam didn't stop. "Surely one can't hurt, it's thanksgiving. It's time to give thanks…"

"I feel shit enough on these drugs, I don't need anything to make me feel worse."

"For your arm? I saw you flinch yesterday when that dickhead tried to resist arrest and Voight and you were tussling with him." He was just making shit up now. Nobody else was there, it was just him, Voight and Burgess so Kev and Vanessa would have no idea. He was enjoying this though; he could just make shit up and Kim would have to go with it.

"Yeah. If you hadn't been dragging your ass it should have been you."

Adam took a big mouthful of beer. "You know me, women's rights and all. I've learned my lesson the hard way; you girls don't need my help."

Kim helped herself to a soda water with some lemon that she had bought with her and settled in to talk to Vanessa while the boys cooked, this was Kevin's deal and that meant he could sort out the food. Having Adam help probably wasn't the greatest idea and his idea of help was flaky at best but Kim and Vanessa refused to get involved. Kim was riding a wave as well, she actually felt good for now.

Adam recognised the couple of Patrol guys from previous nights out with Kevin and he introduced them to Kim and Vanessa. Liam Tarrant was a pretty good young cop, keen to get a look in upstairs, even just for a few shifts but so far Voight hadn't shown any interest in pulling in Patrol. Damon Waltman was a lot more reserved, he didn't have the get up and go his buddy had.

"I heard you and Kev got called up all the time?" Liam pulled up a chair next to Kim. "What was that like?"

"An eye opener."

"How long did it take to get from Patrol up to Intelligence?"

"A couple of years. You've just gotta keep putting yourself under Voight's nose and when you get the chance you've gotta grab it." Kim offered some advice. "It's not easy though and you've got push yourself way outside your comfort zone, if you fear stuffing up Voight will know it before you even do."

"Noted." He leant forward and touched Kim's arm. "I heard you were killing it up there though." He was flirting with her and while Kim gave him nothing Adam saw it and felt his hackles rise a little. One thing that was not going to win him any favours was acting like a jealous dick. He had no right considering what he'd put her through the past year but on the other hand she was currently pregnant with his child and this guy needed to back off.

He had to hide a smile when Kim glared at him. So it wasn't just him she was shitty with, she was shitty with all mankind…except Kevin of course. She was never shitty with Kev and Kev never got tired of telling Adam that.

Kim pushed her chair back suddenly which made Liam jump a little. "Excuse me." She muttered and tried not to run to the bathroom.

"Burgess okay?" Adam nodded down the hall and Kevin shrugged.

"Yeah, she said the anti-biotics are pretty nasty. Make her feel nasty. I'll go check."

Fortunately the oven alarm started beeping and Adam patted him on the back. "Make sure my Turkey don't burn. I'll make sure Burgess isn't trashing your bathroom."

He knocked on the door. "Go away Adam." Kim looked at him when he came in. "This is not helping."

"It's okay, Kev is more worried about the Turkey. You okay?"

"That guy was flirting with me wasn't he?"

"Yep."

She rolled her head back and groaned. "Just what I need."

"Want me to take him out? I'll make it quick and clean."

Kim did actually smile. "No thanks tough guy. Don't do this Adam?"

"What?"

"Be jealous. It's the last thing I need right now."

"I'm not jealous."

"Great." She waved her hand dismissively. "…then just go."

Kevin eyed him when he came back. He had managed to rope Vanessa into helping him with dinner while Liam and Damon watched the game. "She good man?"

"Yep, cursing the Doctor who stitched her up, gave her the anti-biotics and me."

"What you do?"

Pulling open the fridge door her grabbed another beer. "I was my usual charming self and she threw a hairbrush at me. Come to think of it, why do you have a hairbrush anyway?"

"To keep myself pretty for the ladies." Kevin shoved a bowl of mashed potatoes in his hands and ordered him to take it to the table. Vanessa followed with the yams, corn, peas and carrots. The turkey was the crowning moment and nobody was taking that away from Kev.

Kim sat next to Kevin and Liam was quick to sit beside her. He was chock full of gumption it seemed and completely oblivious to Kim's disinterest. Adam was left talking to Damon who had the personality of a goldfish.

No one was surprised when Kev started off on his thankfulness speech. "And finally I'm just thankful to have my two best buddies back at the same table. It's been too long."

"Well you've never invited us before Kev." Adam muttered.

When it came to Kim's turn he was interested in what she had to say. "I am thankful for a job I love, good friends and family." She kept it short and sweet. Vanessa was thankful for the opportunity Voight was giving her and the new friends she'd made." Even Adam saw the little glance she gave Kev and he caught Burgess's eye who had seen it too. They at least still had their non-verbal connection working, even if verbal conversations were hard to come by.

"Well I'm bloody thankful I only spent one night in jail. I'm thankful for my freedom. It's been a tough year, I spent most of it bouncing along the bottom but now things are on the up, so I am thankful for the people who pulled me up." He couldn't really say what he was thankful for, she'd kill him.

Kim didn't last long after lunch, she just wasn't in the mood. She had picked at her food, which Kev noticed and then snuck away and fell asleep on his bed. "Burgess…" Kev sat on the edge of the bed and waited for her to wake up. "You okay girl?"

Kim rolled onto her back. "I'm fine Kev. It's been a long week, I didn't sleep well, I feel like shit. I think I am allergic to these anti-biotics."

"Then stop 'em."

"I'm nearly done. I don't want my arm to get re-infected because believe it or not that was worse than this." She groaned. "Hey, nice meal though. I didn't think you could do it."

"Yee of little faith, much better me than Ruzek. He's a walking disaster in the kitchen."

"He has his moments."

Kev rubbed her leg as Kim breathed deeply. "Ya know, I do like that you two seem to be talking a bit again. It feels right."

"Yeah, it's been good. I think we do well as friends."

Kevin cocked one eye at her. He was forever hopeful that they would get their shit together, they belonged together and while it had been rough for them he could see the love they had for each other. He tried the begging, cajoling, he'd read them both the riot act but they were stubborn as mules. "One day?"

"Not now Kev…I'm not in the mood for one of your lectures. Do you mind if I take off?"

"Sure. You sure you okay?"

"Yeah, Kev I'm fine. I just don't want to rain on your parade today."

"What about Ruze?"

"He's all yours. I'm sure you'll be dragging his sorry ass off your couch tomorrow morning."

"Thanks Burgess."

Adam eyed them both when they came back and wasn't surprised when Kim grabbed her bag and coat. She apologised for being a wet blanket and bailing early. Liam looked disappointed and that gave Adam some satisfaction especially when Kim barely acknowledge him. He walked her back to her car, citing the need to grab his keys which he left in her car. That wasn't unusual, he always left them somewhere and most people had a spare set just in case.

"You be okay? Take it easy driving home."

"I will and thanks for looking out for me, I do appreciate it."

Taking a punt he leant forward and kissed her forehead softly. "When I was in jail I thought about you and I knew how worried you would be, we can't help ourselves can we? I'm thankful that you are in my life, every single day."

"That's sweet Adam." She stepped back suddenly and hooked her finger through his briefly. It was the best she could do and the most she could give him. "I need to go before I spew."

He watched her drive off and he'd suddenly lost the will to go back inside but knew he had too. He could do with a bust out session but he was worried what would happen if he had too many and got loose lips. "Happy fucking Thanksgiving." He muttered before heading back inside.


End file.
